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10 signs that you are an overthinker and 10 ways to calm your mind
The soaring mind
Picture this: You’re in bed, your eyes are closed, and you’re about to drift off. But then a thought occurs to you: Did your friend simply forget to respond, or is he ignoring you because of something you said? When you overthink, it can be difficult to get rid of it, making you analyze every little detail and imagine the worst possible scenarios. Sound familiar? Here are 10 classic signs of overthinking to watch out for, and 10 simple ways to calm your mind.
1. You can replay conversations in your head
The most classic sign of an overthinker is someone who constantly replays past conversations in his head. Even if it was a discussion or argument that happened years ago, they cannot let go of the words that were said and the uncomfortable feelings that came with them. The overthinker often berates himself for saying something he shouldn’t have said or not saying something he should have said.
2. You are a disaster
Overthinkers often imagine the worst case scenario in every situation. Whether it’s a job interview, a presentation, or catching up with an old classmate, nothing escapes their stressed mind. They feel like they have to prepare for every possible way something could unfold, so they may either make up scripts in their heads or practice out loud over and over again.
3. You can’t sleep at night
Another sign that someone is a classical thinker? They are often lying in bed awake all night, still replaying old conversations or re-imagining worst-case scenarios in their minds. In fact, it is as if their brain never completely stops, and for this reason, they suffer from insomnia.
4. You take everything personally
No matter how someone responds or how long or short their message is, overthinkers take every word seriously. They may over-analyze someone’s tone, punctuation, or phrasing, wondering if they’ve accidentally upset or disappointed them. Even neutral comments can make their minds spiral.
5. You analyze, then analyze, then analyze…
Speaking of over-analyzing, over-thinking does a lot of it. But they don’t just examine messages, tones, and expressions, they dissect every choice, every interaction, and every possible outcome of a situation. For example, they may often spend hours weighing the pros and cons of a simple decision.
Ekaterina Polovtsova on Pexels
6. You hate making decisions
Speaking of decisions, overthinkers hate making them. This is because they tend to spend much more time than they need to before arriving at a final answer. They would rather have someone else make the choice for them than to make the choice on their own.
7. You keep having embarrassing moments
Not only do overthinkers replay past conversations in their minds, but they also have awkward moments. Even though everyone has moved on from the past, overthinkers are convinced that people still remember one thing they did years ago that still haunts them today.
No matter how hard they tried, they could never truly get rid of the memory.
8. You’re second-guessing yourself
Another reason why people who overthink tend to avoid making decisions is that they are often critical of themselves. Despite doing their research and carefully weighing the pros and cons, they still question their judgment, which leads them to ask others for different opinions.
9. You worry a lot about what other people think
Overthinkers often assume the worst about how others perceive them. They may think they are constantly being judged because of the way they talk, dress, or act, when in reality most people are so preoccupied with their own thoughts and fears that they don’t care or notice.
10. You criticize yourself a lot
No matter how hard they try, overthinkers never believe they are good enough. They often hold themselves to high, almost unattainable standards, and feel unworthy or embarrassed when they cannot meet those expectations. Hearing feedback from others makes them escalate even more.
Do these signs look like you? If you are wondering how to calm your anxious, overthinking mind, here are some tips that may help you.
1. Schedule your worry time
Instead of letting thoughts run wild every minute of the day, it can be helpful to set aside time to do whatever is worrying you. After the time is up, don’t let your overthinking mind continue to spiral, and engage in an activity you enjoy instead.
2. Think about the bigger picture
If you’re worried about the outcome of a particular scenario, such as a job interview or job offer, it can help to think about the bigger picture. Even if your disastrous ideas materialize into reality, what is the likelihood that those eventual outcomes—rejection from an employer, or a poorly executed presentation—will still affect you in five or ten years? Chances are, by then, everyone will have already moved on with their lives, and you should too.
3. Find a distraction
Instead of letting your mind spin in stressful circles, distract it by doing something you love. Try going for a walk in the park, watching your favorite TV show, or cooking a new recipe. When you take your mind off the thing that’s worrying you, you’ll be able to find a moment of peace and quiet.
4. Take a deep breath
Anxiety can cause unpleasant symptoms, such as shortness of breath and rapid heartbeat. The more you allow your mind to think, the worse these feelings become. So, instead of letting your anxiety take over, try some breathing exercises to calm your mind. One technique that may help is the box method: inhale deeply for four seconds, hold for four seconds, then exhale for eight seconds.
5. Acknowledge your successes
Instead of ruminating over your past mistakes and failures, focus on your successes and celebrate your victories.
These accomplishments don’t have to be big; Just think about what you did last week that made you feel proud or happy. This will help you build a more positive mindset and allow you to practice self-compassion.
6. Write down your thoughts
Overthinking can tire your mind and body. So, instead of leaving your thoughts trapped inside your head, try writing them down on paper as a way to release them into the wild. Sometimes, seeing your fears can help you gain better clarity and perspective, and you may feel more ready to let go of them.
Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash
7. Embrace discomfort
There are some things you have no control over, and that’s okay. Instead of wrestling with your fears and trying to shape them into something familiar and less threatening, sometimes the easiest thing you can do is accept them as they are. It is inevitable that you will feel uncomfortable in life, and it is inevitable that you will make mistakes. You may not be able to control how things turn out, but you can control how you react to them. So, think positive.
8. Talk to yourself as a friend
If your friend came to you with the same concerns, what would you tell him? What would be your advice? You’ll likely be able to phrase these thoughts more positively and make scary scenarios seem less daunting.
So, treat yourself like you would a friend. Speak kindly, and be understanding.
Photo by: Kaboompics.com on Pexels
9. Talk to someone
When your thoughts and fears become too much to handle on your own, don’t be afraid to reach out to a friend, family member, or mental health professional so they can help you break out of the negative cycle. Often, others can offer different perspectives and solutions that allow you to see situations in a whole new light, which may alleviate your anxiety and overthinking tendencies.
10. Stay in the present moment
When you constantly overthink something that happened years ago, you root yourself in a reality that no longer exists. Instead of letting past mistakes, conversations, and memories consume you and keep you tied to a different timeline, learn how to let go and ground yourself in the present moment. One way that may help is to use all of your senses to capture what is currently happening. What do you see, hear, smell, feel, or taste?
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